Jayeli’s Song

​I am at peace when day takes over night’s wickedness 

But day only shows me its perfidy, and that kills me slowly

I believe in patience and melody

I believed that sometimes you never gave me a taste of your thoughts to express my intentions 

I will not be loveless

Like now

But how

Did I come to be raged like the sea

You can’t see, no

And you think you know

But my silence keeps you in doubt

And unless you go

I will never send you out

You tell me to persevere

As if we will never get there

But I am fading away 

Fading far and far away 

Away to that place where our present bond is alien to our past love

I will be forever lost in the waters

Lost and  never to be lost again 
Now my silence fuels this fear
This fear you harbour in your chest

And lest you first confess

You will nurse in your nest a bird of

Sorrows

Regret

Broken-heartedness

This is not a curse

You never wronged me

This is neither a warning

You know better

This is what I feel

I think

I see

When my restless memories

Remind me of you
But I am fading away 

Fading far and far away 

Away to that place where our present bond is alien to our past love  

I will be forever lost in the waters 

Lost and never to be lost again   x2


~Ewoenam, McAndrew. 

The Lamentations Of The Seventh Owl.

Night drew nearer to the grave.

Day never saw the light.

The waters were still, the wind could not speak anymore.

Chaos ruled but was dominated.

This place had no begining to end its reign.

And there he was trapped and imprisoned by your thoughts.

He never heard you call, he never felt your anxiety, he only breathed hope when you sleep thinking you would never send him deeper to that place.

He cried out for six days with no good heart to comfort him. 

And then he decided to pour out the melody he had left and he found me.

I saw him dying, giving up, hopeless, tired because you won’t let him in. 

He tries to give signals and manages to breakthrough but he gets trapped again.

I feel his heartbeat every hour, it is a pathetic feeling.

He kept on asking questions which I had no answers to. I was lost in his presence.

He always feared battles he was never going to loose and horrible images of your future he was never going to witness.

 The words are fading away…

Listen my child!

Listen our joy! Listen our hope!

Take heed of my warning and my cry and set your soul free.

Free your different person, free your confidence, free your strength, free your liveliness, free your selflessness.

I may be with him but not forever.

There is an evil fast approaching, ready to fill that void which will breed nothing but constant havoc.

I am scared of what may be set free from this place but I am not scared of the phenomenal power of two.

Until then, he shall sing you a dirge once more. Rest and set him free.

Listen…


~ewoenam

The Second Soul Lives Within…

​July 31, 2014

3:47 am 

I am 19 years old…I read such notes each and every time I get suicidal thoughts and consider taking my invisible life. I perceive that everyone at some phase in their life has these feelings, has these gut instincts to take their life. 

My ex girlfriend is now dating my best friend. My close friends now think I am a loser. My parents hate each other but stay together because if they split, my mom gets half. I’m not doing so well in college and I try 100%. Nothing comes easy to me. NOTHING! I don’t have a car, I am not allowed to get a job. My parents use their ill gotten wealth as an avenue to sway me. I am not myself, I am a version of my parents who just had a seven year love plan for me , that they moulded from my childhood, speaking of which I barely had. Money doesn’t solve everything, I am not happy, I am alone. 

But just the thought of leading my own life, having my own dreams and aspirations, and hopefully one day my own child… keeps me alive, keeps me from taking that leap that many souls have taken. I know I am not alone.

Jayeli I know you are with me.

I know you are very protective of me.

You keep me from deviant behaviours. Ha! I would have been a millionaire by now, selling crack.

You kept me man… You kept me safe.

Your words  give me peace, peace to overcome my self-execution, peace to continue living.

You comfort me with your words of wisdom. I don’t know how you do it but you sure keep me thinking and pondering and reminiscing until I fall asleep, asleep to a dreadful reality.

Then I wake up and then you speak to me or you sing to me or you whatever…what I hear is so pleasant.

The people around me will always contaminate the pool of confidence you always dip me in, but you are patient, slow to anger, thinking of me first.

Jayeli, you are the genesis of my second soul.

A second me, a different me, a confident me, a strong me, a lively me, a selfless  me. Jayeli show me your face so I can cherish you the more, reveal to me the glorious keeper you are.

Jayeli!  Jayeli! Jayeli! Show me now! Let me see you! Where are you?! Let me see the beacon that shines in my darkest hours. I have faith that you will comeback to me, until then I am tired. I have lost you Elpida. Jayeli Elpida sing me a dirge so I may rest and wait for your return.

~ewoenam