Thursday Redemption 3

                      The evil effect

 I have always hated you 

You introduced me to an evil

I wish you could burn in hell for this

You fucked me up

You hurt me real bad

So now let me ask you something…

Why me? Why this child?

I was always innocent

You could see it in my eyes

You knew I had potential

You knew I was a light to shine bright in the darkest hours

You knew I was the key to arrest this abject poverty

Oh yes! Your henchmen! Those faggots

They knew it. I was destined for eminence

They destroyed me in and out

I was ill. It was too much for me

I was helpless, I was defenceless

I said to myself…

They should enjoy it while it last but it seemed it was going to be forever

My blood, my family 

You watched all that evil contaminate the bond

I cried like the world witnessed my sister being raped on that day

A very grotesque sight. It had to be censored

A cruel world it has proven to be

I was mocked at the feet of mercy

Then I fell into a trance

I was welcomed to a Thursday redemption

It was not a pleasant one

Now I knew my origin

A kid left by his parents at the market gates

Saved by a wicked man and brought up cruelly

What should I be grateful for?

Peace I have now. Trust I got rid off. Accepted revenge’s proposal.

Where do I go from here?

I will let my resolutions do the thinking

I may pay some social vices a friendly visit

The rules of the survival game were layed out to me quite early

It was a miscalculated phenomenon

I would be sorry for those I will hurt

I would be grateful to those who would survive

I need a mask first.


~ewoenam





Image: Richard Stall man

 h2g2bob(David Batley)

Creative commons attribution share alike 2.5 generic 

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Thursday Redemption 2

Danger lurks in her thoughts

It sings to her the melodies of fear

The doubles are at war

The survival game is getting intense

How is it going to end?

A dark life exposed to the light after 15 years or this weird attachment to the environment.

She woke up in tears

It pushed her limit

This dilemma is a slow killer

The earth’s energy is negative

Confessions would have dire consequences

Going cold turkey was the only resolution

That thought was destruction

Affectation was tempting

Inviting Betrayal’s wrath.

Jade was late with her protection

Her second soul brought salvation

She longed for peace 

It finally found her

She was slow to realize that pain had vacated

Jade conquered her evil provinces 

A friend, a protector

Freedom started to rule

A little confusion still survived

She just had to ask the golden question 

What happened to us?

You had a Thursday Redemption

Awesome right?


~ewoenam, hrhddk


Thursday Redemption 

Your brother never saw joy,

Sorrow was in his blood,

He could not control it,

He came to you for relief, you just made the pain worse.

Your sister was in need of protection,

She was helpless,

She was weak,

She had to propose a deal with death.

She sought to share her burden with you

Just for a night’s look out

You mocked her, proposed an inhumane ultimatum and sold her to a brothel.

Your mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor

Her love was not reciprocated 

Your family was torn apart

You cared less.

Your iron heart was that of stupidity

And then you heard your brother died

Self execution found a place in his heart

You gave him a befitting funeral… Ha! Oh yes a befitting incineration.

A wicked way to bid farewell.

But then, your mother had a Thursday redemption.

The tumor killed her before you could lay eyes on her.

A Thursday redemption?

Yes, yes… She described it as such

The day which gave her salvation

She was free from her mental slavery

She was given the opportunity to flee from the devil you had become

She was glad dying. For a second, her smile made death attractive to me.

She wished for you the samething

A Thursday redemption…

What will it be?




~ewoenam


Martha

She was hurt,

She was aggressive,

Never to recognize her own beast.

The beast, her beast devoured her breath,

She was alive but was dead never to be human.

And there came a day,

A day she had this revolt of heart

Consequences affecting everything she laid eyes on.

She had taken a firm stand,

She promised there was going to be no peace.

And there came this beautiful child,

She had no merciful emotion.

Her revenge was way too pleasing,

It engulfed her, making her fierce even to the most devilish of  thoughts.

Her mission made her blind to the pieces that were missing during a lifetime.

And there came this beautiful child again with a good man, 

The beast had no trouble convincing her

She had exchanged a longing for peace for tragedy and blood,

A victim in deep caves of perpetual darkness.

There was no turning back to the slightest touch of light,

The beast, her beast, the darkness of a wounded woman had to end.

Innocent souls never to be gained again.

She knew this dark journey would be over soon, but when? She grew selfish of more innocence until she crossed the line.

Death had seen enough of it.

But just before death summoned her to the courts of lost souls, she left this behind,

“One’s destiny is only corrupted by deep trust”

~ewoenam

R.

They will never care and give you even the casual attention,

When you are fucked up, well you only get the casual attention.

When you are a rolling stone, you don’t get to sleep because their minds are restless.

This version of humanity always use you as a comfort test application, a backup to their formatted grace. And when you retrieve a file for them, they will always forget to backup again. 

The question here is, who is the liability?

Life here is a no nonsense judge,

You clothe yourself with it, he makes you an epitome of disgust and here you will suffer an unending revulsion and disapproval,

Which will come from the same source of your grace.

Give each other that smile of respect. 

Oh yes! I think that will subdue life’s treachery.

There is no better way to express this…


~ewoenam

Jayeli’s Song

​I am at peace when day takes over night’s wickedness 

But day only shows me its perfidy, and that kills me slowly

I believe in patience and melody

I believed that sometimes you never gave me a taste of your thoughts to express my intentions 

I will not be loveless

Like now

But how

Did I come to be raged like the sea

You can’t see, no

And you think you know

But my silence keeps you in doubt

And unless you go

I will never send you out

You tell me to persevere

As if we will never get there

But I am fading away 

Fading far and far away 

Away to that place where our present bond is alien to our past love

I will be forever lost in the waters

Lost and  never to be lost again 
Now my silence fuels this fear
This fear you harbour in your chest

And lest you first confess

You will nurse in your nest a bird of

Sorrows

Regret

Broken-heartedness

This is not a curse

You never wronged me

This is neither a warning

You know better

This is what I feel

I think

I see

When my restless memories

Remind me of you
But I am fading away 

Fading far and far away 

Away to that place where our present bond is alien to our past love  

I will be forever lost in the waters 

Lost and never to be lost again   x2


~Ewoenam, McAndrew. 

The Lamentations Of The Seventh Owl.

Night drew nearer to the grave.

Day never saw the light.

The waters were still, the wind could not speak anymore.

Chaos ruled but was dominated.

This place had no begining to end its reign.

And there he was trapped and imprisoned by your thoughts.

He never heard you call, he never felt your anxiety, he only breathed hope when you sleep thinking you would never send him deeper to that place.

He cried out for six days with no good heart to comfort him. 

And then he decided to pour out the melody he had left and he found me.

I saw him dying, giving up, hopeless, tired because you won’t let him in. 

He tries to give signals and manages to breakthrough but he gets trapped again.

I feel his heartbeat every hour, it is a pathetic feeling.

He kept on asking questions which I had no answers to. I was lost in his presence.

He always feared battles he was never going to loose and horrible images of your future he was never going to witness.

 The words are fading away…

Listen my child!

Listen our joy! Listen our hope!

Take heed of my warning and my cry and set your soul free.

Free your different person, free your confidence, free your strength, free your liveliness, free your selflessness.

I may be with him but not forever.

There is an evil fast approaching, ready to fill that void which will breed nothing but constant havoc.

I am scared of what may be set free from this place but I am not scared of the phenomenal power of two.

Until then, he shall sing you a dirge once more. Rest and set him free.

Listen…


~ewoenam

The Second Soul Lives Within…

​July 31, 2014

3:47 am 

I am 19 years old…I read such notes each and every time I get suicidal thoughts and consider taking my invisible life. I perceive that everyone at some phase in their life has these feelings, has these gut instincts to take their life. 

My ex girlfriend is now dating my best friend. My close friends now think I am a loser. My parents hate each other but stay together because if they split, my mom gets half. I’m not doing so well in college and I try 100%. Nothing comes easy to me. NOTHING! I don’t have a car, I am not allowed to get a job. My parents use their ill gotten wealth as an avenue to sway me. I am not myself, I am a version of my parents who just had a seven year love plan for me , that they moulded from my childhood, speaking of which I barely had. Money doesn’t solve everything, I am not happy, I am alone. 

But just the thought of leading my own life, having my own dreams and aspirations, and hopefully one day my own child… keeps me alive, keeps me from taking that leap that many souls have taken. I know I am not alone.

Jayeli I know you are with me.

I know you are very protective of me.

You keep me from deviant behaviours. Ha! I would have been a millionaire by now, selling crack.

You kept me man… You kept me safe.

Your words  give me peace, peace to overcome my self-execution, peace to continue living.

You comfort me with your words of wisdom. I don’t know how you do it but you sure keep me thinking and pondering and reminiscing until I fall asleep, asleep to a dreadful reality.

Then I wake up and then you speak to me or you sing to me or you whatever…what I hear is so pleasant.

The people around me will always contaminate the pool of confidence you always dip me in, but you are patient, slow to anger, thinking of me first.

Jayeli, you are the genesis of my second soul.

A second me, a different me, a confident me, a strong me, a lively me, a selfless  me. Jayeli show me your face so I can cherish you the more, reveal to me the glorious keeper you are.

Jayeli!  Jayeli! Jayeli! Show me now! Let me see you! Where are you?! Let me see the beacon that shines in my darkest hours. I have faith that you will comeback to me, until then I am tired. I have lost you Elpida. Jayeli Elpida sing me a dirge so I may rest and wait for your return.

~ewoenam